Self Doubt Lies

It's been forever since I've touched this, though maybe it's because it's starting to sink in. A two bit hack is good at lying to others but when they look in the mirror they can't lie to themselves. All they see are gaps and fault lines, places in the mask where hairline fractures become chasms of truth. All of it seeping through the perfect character spread before them. Then, maybe it's the mirror that lies.

Too strong a spirit to really adhere to what the rest of the world shoves down my throat, I throw it back up through attitude and and a sword wielding silver tongue. But even those aren't indeterminable supplies. Sew my lips shut and I'll speak with my eyes. Close them tightly and I'll fight with my fists. Tie my fists behind my back and my soul will rise. A well of anger that seemed unending and yet in the end.. there's something deeper still.

So here I stand, above a running sink that strings a symphony of unshed tears. Facing down the eyes I've seen before. Deeper in their chocolate depths than the hole Alice fell down, lips move to words so sharp with truth that the mirror shatters. But there it is still revealed in the spider web lies that every person tells themselves.

When you learn to hold yourself up after a lifetime of everyone holding you down, you start to turn away from the dark corners where the golden glow of reality weaves silks so fine that you know you're unworthy. That's what it comes down to right? Worthy... but who's to say what you're worthy of, what you'll settle for... Pound your gavel and stick me with your labels. Tell me what you really see of me.. but don't for one second tell me that I'm unworthy.

I'll make that decision on my own